Should I stop being a “friend” of my son when he goes to college?

Diligent readers will remember my blog post from a couple of weeks ago about a friend’s son who politely informed his mother that he did not agree with parents participation on Facebook, and so he would not be her friend, thank you very much.  My son actually encouraged me to join, although it means that I am now privy to his enthusiastic posts on his wall about how great the m-f’in snow was.  (I was not surprised to learn that he was well versed in expletives.)

It’s the friends-of-friends postings that has me worried.  When I check out my 22-year-old daughter’s wall, her friends are long past the freshman year craziness.  (Although she may forget that I can see her commitment to visit a friend of hers in Toronto over spring break, before she’s asked me about it – a request, I might add, that was promptly denied.)

But what of my son’s freshman year antics?  Or those of his friends?  Should I be privy to those?  Peggy Orenstein wonders in this week’s NY Times magazine if the most profound impact of Facebook will be to “change the way young people become adults.”  Her concern is that they will immortalize themselves on Facebook at a point in their lives they may well wish to forget later.  My concern is that — through my son’s postings and those of his friends — I may end up witnessing their young adult experiences in a way that mothers aren’t meant to see.

What do you think?  What will you do about friending your young adult child on Facebook?

1 Comment

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One response to “Should I stop being a “friend” of my son when he goes to college?

  1. Sandy

    Hey Bets – this could go one of two ways. One, Tom has nothing to hide and being his facebook friend doesn’t make any difference to him or to you. Or two, he does have something to hide, and if he is smart he will learn how to unfriend you before you find out about it… 🙂